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SELF-ESTEEM AND THE APPRECIATION OF TIME
I have noticed this problem for decades and,
unfortunately, nothing much has changed, despite
the growing number of women now holding two fuII
time jobs (at home and outside).
Many who would not spend a single dollar without
first doing lots of thinking, just give precious
time away without considering, not even for one
minute, that they are using something which is
not refunded, exchangeable or re-usable: a very
expensive item in great, permanent demand and in
limited supply, a resource which is capable of
earning high interests and dividends, completely
safe from devaluation--the greatest asset of all.
Men are much more careful with their time,
frequently reminding its value to others,
whenever there is any threat of waste. To any
human being, the need to earn respect from
society must begin with self-appreciation. One
of the most basic need--the goal of full (potential)
accomplishment has to be the first personal
priority, placing money in its due position as a
tool for better living.
Recently, one of my acquaintances, who owns a
house and two cars, and is comfortable enough
with her budget to have an active social life,
was faced with a very common problem: her
dishwasher broke down. The company which
supplies the necessary part didn't have it in
the store and had to order it. But the manager
did explain that the customer would find the
item they were looking for in a kit, available
right away. In order to save money, the lady
decided to wait for the part individually packed,
which will be installed by her husband, whenever
it will arrive.
Three full weeks have already passed and they
are still waiting. Though she complained to me
that the delay is bothering her, the attitude is
still "not to pay for a kit she does not need
(!)."
With a husband and two children, anybody will
guess how busy her days are. Then, why is she so
inconsiderate about herself? What is creative
about washing dishes, when there is so much to
be done and enjoyed? Isn't it amazing that so
many homemakers do not realize time also carries
a high price tag? Personally, my policy would be
to get the dishwasher fixed as soon as possible,
for whatever price.
Such line of thinking -- to place money as more
important than ourselves – is the main cause why
males sometimes will expect too much from
feminine energy. We are to blame ourselves when
we don't keep reminding others about "the more
important things we have to do."
If you are the kind who gets upset because the
pile of clothes in need of mending keeps growing
higher and you have been unable to sit down and
go about the task, my best tip is to get your
babysitter to do this, as a separate assignment.
Treat too much ironing (if you still have "needs-ironing"
clothes...) the same way and you will be
surprised to see that you have, at last, time to
go to your local libraries or along with the
kids to the skating rink. Another alternative is
to use the time on your hands to earn more money
than you are paying for the hired help. How
about freelance writing? bookkeeping? tutoring?
preparing income tax forms?
A time-saving practice I repeat every week is to
order cooked meals from good priced restaurant
lists, getting them delivered. Don't try to tell
me about you cooking them home much cheaper,
after all the trouble (and waste of time) you
went through to get a few of the ingredients
advertised as great bargains from a far away
supermarket. I remind you about the gas price
and the other items for which you probably paid
more than usually… or were you "smart" enough to
rush and drive to your usual store, in the
neighbourhood? Ah, ah! I forgot to mention that
when others do the cooking, you save in high
priced electricity. You also get some free time
to write a birthday message, instead of feeling
bad because you didn't do it for the third time
around and then resort to a long distance call.
Now, since you got some nice leftovers for
tomorrow dinner, you also realized you will be
able to do some browsing before buying that
formal dress you need for a friend's wedding in
less than two weeks.
I agree that some homemakers will encounter a
mental reaction that may range from mild to
severe, warning “her” that "this costs too much."
Speak up for your rights. Point out to the other
members of your family the fact of having to
struggle daily with longer hours and a heavier
workload than anybody else. An acute shortage of
time spells disaster, sooner or later. Patiently
but with determination, train your husband and
children to save YOUR energy, your time, to
reduce the list of your chores. YOU ARE
PRICELESS.
I used to make the children's bed early in the
morning and, before noon, both looked as if no
one had touched them since the kids got up.
After asking the children a few times without
success to stop playing and jumping in the bed,
I told them they were to be responsible for
arranging their own bed. They started making
their beds. Since they do the work, they also
appreciate the effort… and don't jump on the
beds anymore. It seems that all the other beds
in our home lost the attraction power for the
children. So, I don't mind the fact the beds
don't look "professional". I am glad they are
done and kept that way all day long. Discipline
and imagination do help you to stretch your
limited time.
If you find yourself exhausted because the
household tasks are not properly shared, choose
a course of action with no delay: ask your
spouse and/or children to help you regularly or
to hire outside help. Remember: tranquilizers
and sleeping pills are not free either. Nor any
other medical treatment, at home or in a
hospital. TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF. Train your
loved ones in the same line of thinking. You
will be doing them all a big favour. You'll have
more time to show how much you love and
appreciate them. No wealth can buy time,
remember?
Don't ever feel shy to sit down and read the
newspaper, magazine or book... or just to relax
or chat.
To save on your own time, you may use several
services, even if you belong to the low average
income category . Try a step at a time and your
regular budget won't suddenly collapse. By
examining your usual shopping lists, you will
find dozens of items you can easily order by
phone from well established department stores
and having them delivered at your door in less
than forty eight hours in some cases: tissue
boxes, toilet paper, body and hand creams,
deodorants, shaving lotions, soaps and
detergents, perfumes and cosmetics in general,
assorted gifts, games and toys, garbage bags,
candy, chocolate in all kinds of packages, nuts,
sanitary napkins, disposable diapers, stationery,
etc. etc. Why waste time when it is so
convenient to order and the price is the same
you would pay, had you carried home a bulk of
these things yourself? Fresh vegetables and
fruits, as well as groceries of all brands may
be brought to your house, after just a phone
call to the independent corner store.
In case you are the family courier and private
chauffeur, give at least some thought to, once
in a while, if you don't feel well or your daily
schedule seems to be for more than twenty four
hours, hire the services of a company.
If you are leaving for a visit to a friend, see
what else can you do in the same area you are
going or on your way... It will save an extra
trip, gas, money, TIME.
Line the wastebaskets in your home with one
paper or plastic bag, using two each time for
the small garbage container in the kitchen. This
habit will completely eliminate the need for
frequent washing or cleaning up the baskets and
garbage containers. Another good practice
consists in putting one or two bags, side by
side, inside the hampers, which will then be
free of dampness and the mess caused by slightly
wet and/or soiled pieces of clothes.
The examples may vary with different situations,
but the main thing is to keep in mind that time
is your most valuable possession, using it to
your best interest. Consider an insult to your
intelligence any attempt to prove you are
expected to stretch to the maximum limit a
household allowance, despite all the evidence it
will work against your personal well being. From
now on, treat money as an ally, not a foe. Don't
expect any miracle of multiplication, unless it
means to provide many opportunities for
worthwhile projects long overdue. The respect
for your time does not mean you will be always
spending more money than you were use to. In
many cases, all you need is a good planning, a
better route or a very organized schedule so you
won't be overpowered by the evil illusion the
Bible has been warning us all for centuries: not
money… but the love of money. Do not save money
at the cost of your time.
Theresa Catharina de Góes Campos
Ottawa - Ontario, Canada - 1980
From: Elizabeth Barros
Date: 2014-08-06 16:21
Querida Tia Therezita, eu estou lendo com calma
este texto e estou gostando muito. Parabéns
pelos conselhos. Um beijo, de sua sobrinha,
ELizabeth.
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